Sometimes People Just Make Us Feel Dumb

So...a tribute to all the things people were looking for in the store today:

kids wooden toy box
a sticky, bright colored thingy I put on my dash to set my phone on
*plunger
*dog food
Diego Mega Blocks
Hide-a-Key Rock
12oz bottles of gatorade
*Honey
5 lb bag of sugar
*real butter
3 lbs of velvetta cheese
Fourth of July theme table cloths, plates, napkins
Woodstock Theme Beach Towel
*Michael Jackson anything
*box fans
clip on tie...had to be clip on
child's keepsake silverware / spoon
*plastic martini glasses
*swimmies...more to follow

* = stuff we carry in our store

...okay, so these were the things they were looking for...and really this is how they make you feel dumb...

Conversation #1 goes like this:
"WOMAN, do you work here?" (Yes, I actually had a man call me WOMAN from about 20 feet away tonight!)
"Yes, how may I help you, Sir?"
"Well, you probably can't." (Okay, thanks for the credit up front, jerk! Is it b/c I'm a WOMAN?)
"This boy here with me needs a clip-on tie and we've not found one in the men's department."
"We don't sell clip-on ties." (So...yes, I can't help you.)

Conversation #2:
"Do you have a sticky, bright colored thingy I can put on my dash to set my phone on?"
"Well, lets look here in the automotive dept."
"They said they found it at your store."
"I haven't seen it before, you might try in our electronics department."
"Why would I find it in electronics?" (looking at me like I have four eyes)
"Well, because we carry our cell phone accessories in that area."
"Hmp." (They walk away)

Conversation #3:...conversation #2 customer returns....
"Do you have toy box?" Stated in, again, a heavy Indian accent.
"Do you want a plastic or wood box?"
"Wood."
"No, I'm sorry we don't carry that."
"What about plastic?"
"Well, we have indoor/outdoor deck boxes that will be the closest that you'd come to finding what you are looking for."
"Do they have cartoons on them?"
"Um, no." (Really?!?)...walks away looking at me like I'm again...dumber than dumb because I don't carry what she is looking for.

Conversation #4:
"Do you need help tonight?"
"No."
2 minutes pass..."As a matter of fact...I'm looking for these items to make a recipe for my family reunion."
"Ma'am, we sell 4lb bags of sugar...not 5lb. We sell 1lb sticks of butter, so you'll need three to make 3 lbs. We sell Velvetta cheese, but only in 2lb boxes so you'll need to buy two to get enough for your recipe."
"Do you know anywhere else that sells 5lb bags of sugar, 3lb packs of butter, and 3lb boxes of cheese?"
"Um...no." (Did she really think that the store would carry packaging in the exact increments that her recipe called for???)

Conversation #5:
"Do you have have Swimmies?"
"Like the baby swim diapers?"
"No...the blow up rubber things you put on kids arms."
"Yes...this aisle here."
(Really...Swimmies...is that the official term?)

Long night, missed sales. Back at it again tomorrow.